Memories Redux

10 years ago today: June 8, 1999: I was working full time at Avon. Worst. Job. Ever. (And I've worked fast food and done a stint in the KMart Layaway, so that's saying something.) At the same time, I was tutoring a high school student in German during the week and babysitting on most weekend nights. This was also the summer that a friend of a friend introduced me to her au pair, who had just arrived from Germany and was feeling a little shell-shocked. We started hanging out with each other on a regular basis, speaking German and shopping at Old Navy. Claudia, the au pair, used to tease me because I would always swear that I wanted to buy something "different", and would always end up buying khaki shorts and dark blue, black, and white tops. My wardrobe certainly was neutral that summer.

5 years ago today: June 8, 2004. I was planning my move to Our Fair City with Hulio. We were getting ready to meet here for an apartment hunting trip, and I was not at all certain where the law school was, what sort of neighborhood it might be in, or where we should be looking to live. Hulio was not at all certain whether or not she was actually going to come with me. We laugh sometimes at the conversations she would have with people who asked her why she moved here: "Well, my best friend goes to law school here." "Ummmm... OK. So, why did you move here again?"

EDITED BECAUSE LUNERAY IS TOTALLY RIGHT.

So, um, actually I was in Our Fair City, getting ready to leave for Sweden in about a week's time. It would have been about this point that I learned from my student loan lender that, in fact, they would NOT be disbursing my loans because the program in Sweden wasn't considered "academic in nature". Which is ludicrous on several levels, first and foremost because the program required something like six hours of class per day. Fortunately/ Unfortunately, depending on how you look at things, I'd already put the course fees on my credit card. It had seemed like the expedient course of action at the time, what with needing to be able to pay in Swedish Kronor and not yet having the student loans I'd been promised in hand. I am still paying off that credit card today-- that's the unfortunate part. On the other hand, the fact that I had already paid the non-refundable fee meant that there was no backing out, so I couldn't feel too guilty about going ahead with the plans despite the lack of funding. I had an amazing summer and met Luneray, and that wouldn't have happened if I'd found out about the no-student-loans thing earlier.

On a side note, I can tell you exactly what I wasn't doing on June 8, 2004: packing for my trip to Sweden. I remember Hulio yelling at me, and I made a bet with her that I could go from "nothing is ready to go" to "let's leave for the airport" in less than two hours. I totally won that bet. I AM THE QUEEN OF PACKING FOR LONG TRIPS!! Of course, I am correspondingly bad at packing for short trips.

1 year ago today: June 8, 2008: According to my blog, I went to see Iron Man.

Yesterday: Ash and I went to buy a new bike helmet for him and ended up buying a bike for me. Then we took the new bikes to the park and rode them on the bike trail. This was the first time I was on a bike since I borrowed Luneray's bike in Sweden. I've never really spent any time on a bike in the US, so I kept catching these gentle waves of cognitive dissonance. It was kind of weird, nerve-wracking, and annoying to share the path with pedestrians at the park, because, you see, they don't know the Rules of the Road... that I learned in Germany. I had to laugh at myself because I was irritated that the walkers didn't keep to the right, and I kept wanting to ring my (non-existent) bike bell to make them move over. Another somewhat frightening bit of habit I struggled with was my inability to remember that THIS BIKE DOES NOT HAVE COASTER BRAKES. See, every other bike I've ridden had coaster brakes, and I would want to slow down, encounter no resistance on the back pedal and my heart would skip a beat while I tried to make the hand brakes work without causing myself to flip over the handlebars. I am clearly a menace who should not be on the road/ bike path. And Ash kept turning around to tell me to go faster. I think he might be trying to get my life insurance money, but the joke's on him because I didn't take out a big enough policy to pay off all of my debts. HAHAHAHA!

Tomorrow: Work. Ick. I mean, don't get me wrong: I'm very grateful to have a job at all. But I'm not sure that where I am is a good place for me. I'm bored AND stressed all the time, which is a very bad combination. There was apparently some drama today, but I was working from home, so I'll have to get the blow-by-blow tomorrow.

5 snacks I enjoy: Any cereal with a cartoon figure on the box, popsicles, Grießbrei, sweet popcorn, and Twizzlers.

5 bands that I know the lyrics to most of their songs: Patty Griffin, REM, U2, Billy Joel,

5 things I would do with $100,000,000: Pay off student loan debt for myself and several of my dear friends, give my parents enough money so that they could quit their crappy jobs and do something that makes them happy, set up a scholarship fund, travel, buy a home.

5 locations I'd like to run away to: Iceland, Germany (specifically to my little town in Bavaria), Hawaii, Finland, .

5 bad habits I have:
- Too impatient and not good enough at hiding it.
- Chewing my pens and pencils
- Procrastinating
- Staying up too late.
- Being hesitant about important things.

5 things I like doing: travelling, learning new languages, eating, spending time with close friends,


5 things I would never wear:
A halter top, those pointy toed super high-high heels that have been so popular lately, a micro-mini skirt, a baseball cap facing any way other than forward, one of those "maxi dresses" that look like someone sewed a tablecloth together and added some straps.


5 TV shows I like: Iron Chef (only the Japanese version, and I am still angry that I can't watch on Food Network anymore and can't buy the show on DVD), Scrubs, The Daily Show, Clean House, Friends

5 movies I like: Amelie, Mary Poppins, Office Space, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, The Big Lebowski

5 biggest joys of the moment: Being married to my perfect match, sunshine, getting a break from teaching that allows me to get some physical activity for a change, new books waiting to be read, Jenna's inability to act sane at all anymore (she's just too cute).

5 favorite toys: My laptop, my knitting, my new bike!, my french press (made some seriously awesome coffee this morning), Katamari.

Some Assembly Required

Båb, the IKEA baby. Spare parts are available in the "As-Is" section at a nominal price.

Too Tired to Think of a Title

I stole this from Luneray, because it sparked my interest and was kind of fun to answer. If you like it, take it. Have you noticed that no one tags anyone for memes anymore? Tagging is so 2004.

. Magazines Subscribed To: Real Simple and Self. I used to subscribe to Time and Newsweek, but they have gotten so utterly insubstantial that I can read them cover to cover in 45 minutes. I want a little more for my money, you know? I really miss the big, hefty news magazines in Germany, so I looked into getting a subscription to Der Spiegel, or even Focus. Dear God, that's expensive! I guess I'll stick to reading the news online.

2. Aside from knitting, my favorite pastimes are: reading, writing, and well, I'm out of free time now. I'd also like to get back into some sort of lessons. Ash and I have been talking about taking dancing lessons together, and I've really got to start practicing my Swedish again before I lose it.

3. If I were not a _____________(insert your own profession here), I'd be: OK, is this like a , not-qualified-in-real-life-but-I-think-it-sounds-fascinating kind of thing? Because I think it would be really interesting to be one of the people who works in the "back rooms" of a museum, learning about and caring for the objects in the collection. Or else a person who restores very old or damaged objects/ artwork.

If it has to be a potentially realistic profession, I have often considered going back to get a degree in library science so that I can be a librarian. I think it is unrealistic to consider taking on any more student loans, so that's probably not much more realistic than the museum thing.

4. I am irrationally worried about: Nothing, really. I am worried about several things that are very rational to be worried about: our finances, whether I'll be able to have a baby, my parents ability to retire, my own ability to retire, the state of the economy...

5. If I were the opposite sex: I would be thrilled to be free of the horrible mood swings that I can't seem to control and I would enjoy the sensation of being able to walk around at night with out fear. I would miss being allowed to show vulnerability in public.

6. The thing I miss most about childhood is: the fact that I didn't believe that there were any limitations to what I could achieve, or do, or experience. But to be honest, I don't really miss childhood, and I certainly don't miss high school. Life gets better all the time, even though I also have to admit that things aren't always easy.

7. I like to collect: books. I hate to get rid of them and love being able to walk over to my shelf and pull a comfortable old friend down any time I want to. Ash and I have sold well over a hundred books to Half Price Books since moving in together, and yet we still have four bookcases stuffed to overflowing and could probably really use a fifth.

8. Though I've never been there, I feel inexplicably homesick for: South Korea, because that's where my lovely Dami is.

9. I've never really liked to eat: Beans. I want to like them because they are nutritious and cheap. I keep trying to like them, but at least 90% of the time I just can't stand them. There's just something about the mouth feel that grosses me out. At the place I waitressed at right after law school, they served foole m'damas, and the look and smell of it was enough to make me feel ill.

10. When I have nightmares, they are usually about: When I was in law school, I had a recurring nightmare that my teeth were crumbling and falling out of my head. I had this dream several times a week through all three years and right up until I passed the bar exam. I haven't had the dream even once since then. In college, my recurring nightmare was that I was being chased and couldn't run away. (Eventually, I developed this thing where I would say to myself in my dream "Hey, this must be a dream. And since it's a dream, you can fly away." Then my dream self would push off from the ground and fly like I was swimming though the air until I woke up.) Now, my recurring nightmare is that I'm being chased, but instead of being stuck in place, I am running away and managing to stay one step ahead of the people that are trying to get to me. It doesn't really take an expert on dream analysis to see the meaning in how those dreams have changed over the years. Another big difference is that I used to have extremely frightening nightmares that were unbelievably vivid. I would wake up and be terrified to fall back asleep, lest the dream start back up again. Today, when I have nightmares, they are usually filled with a vague feeling of dread or worry, but they are very seldom as vivid or as frightening. They are also much more... crazy. For example, I recently dreamed that Molly Ringwald was trying to catch me so that she could kill me. Why, why, why would I dream about Molly Ringwald to begin with, and why would she be trying to kill me?

I Can Haz Strss Rileef Nao?

The past few weeks at work have been extremely stressful. So, in an attempt to share a little levity with you, here some kittehs that made me laugh out loud fur reelz:

I Pretended It Was an Interview for Some Cool TV Show

Stole this one from Paca
1. What are your nicknames?
Ash usually calls me some variation on cat. Other than that, I don't really have any nicknames.

2. What game show and/or reality show would you like to be on?
Everyone is always all hot for me to be on Jeopardy, but I really don't think I would enjoy it. However, I would love to be on What Not to Wear. At least I think I would. $5,000 worth of clothes plus some advice on how to dress now that I'm too old for the trendy stuff and too pudgy for the tight stuff would be great. But then, I'm not sure if I want to be told how horribly I dress.

3. What was the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD?

I haven't the vaguest idea. I know what the first CD I ever bought was, though: Cosmic Thing

4. What is your favorite scent?
Fall. That crisp, smoky smell in the air is my favorite smell. Also, the back of Ash's neck. That's my favorite smell for real. But it seemed a little too goopy to say that. Then I decided, screw you people, I love my husband and I'm not afraid to be goopy about it! For our anniversary, we got a card that said something like "She looked at him. He looked at her. And everybody who saw that look threw up a little." And it was funny because it's true!

5. If you had a million dollars that you could only spend on yourself, what would you do with it?
Pay off all of my debts, buy a house, buy a Prius, buy a new wardrobe. In that order.

6. What one place have you visited that you can't forget and want to go back to?
Iceland, hands down. But Finland is a really close second.


7. Do you trust easily?
Sort of. I tend to believe that people are trustworthy once I meet them. But I obviously have some trust issue somewhere, or it wouldn't be so scary for me to meet new people.

8. Do you generally think before you act, or act before you think?
Generally I think waaaaaay too much before I act, but I don't think enough before I talk.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Money. I hate Sallie Mae with a burning passion that I cannot explain.

10. Do you have a good body image?
Yes, but also no. I say yes because I'm always shocked when I see myself in pictures. I think I look much thinner than I actually am. And I say no because I am generally dissatisfied with my body.

11. What is your favorite fruit?
Hm. Pears, I think. I like fruit in general, but I like certain things at certain times, or in certain forms. For example, I like bananas with yogurt and honey on them. I like fresh oranges, but I hate orange flavored things. I like blackberries when they are cooked in any form, but hate them fresh. Pears, however, are good no matter what. They're nice when they're fresh, delicious when baked, lovely when they appear together with other things, they make a really great juice, I like pear flavored things... So, yes, my favorite fruit must be the pear.

12. What websites do you visit daily?
Gmail. I visit Luneray, Sonja, Paca, and Melissa on an almost-daily basis.

13. What have you been seriously addicted to lately?
Pumpkin. It's that time of year! My team at work went to Dairy Queen this past week to celebrate the end of the federal fiscal year, and I had a pumpkin pie blizzard. It was so. pumpkiny. I mentally did a Homer Simpson drool when I took the first bite.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Well, I guess I would have to mostly echo Paca. I was untagged, but I think Paca is the kind of funny-smart person who doesn't take himself seriously, but is always thinking seriously about something cool.

15. What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
You know those stupid Swiffer commercials with the singing mop and broom? "Baby come BACK! You can blame it all on meeeeeee!"

16. What's your favorite item of clothing?
My black fleece pajama bottoms. So warm, so snuggly, so comfy. I actually wore them to the Bar Exam the second time, looking to hang on to some sort of mental haven. I will be so horribly sad when they finally wear out.

17. Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy?
Yes, which is a crying shame since eating them will kill me now.

18. What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground?
It would depend on the situation. If I could figure out who it belonged to, or figure out a way to get it back to the person it belonged to, I would do everything possible to get the money to its rightful owner. If I saw it laying on the ground in the middle of an empty field with no one around, and no way of knowing or learning who it belonged to, I would probably keep it. But I would not spend it immediately, because it would probably take me awhile to sort through the ethical implications of spending someone else's money.

19. What items could you not go without during the day?
Coffee and books.

20. What should you be doing right now?
Cleaning up this pit of an apartment, going to the gym, doing laundry, and grocery shopping.

Stormtroopers Need Love, Too

This is such a great photo set. I especially love this little guy searching for his valentine.

Q&A, Luneray-style

1. What is your occupation? Attorney, I suppose, although I don't practice right now. I'm really debating right now whether to stick with what I'm actually doing right now, or whether I want to move into practice somewhere. That, however, would be a topic for a very long post.

2. What color are your socks right now? I'm barefoot. The last pair of socks I had on were orange and white with palm trees and goldfish on them.

3. What are you listening to right now? I'm watching America's Next Top Model right now-- one of my guilty pleasures. It's so unintentionally funny sometimes!

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Waffles: one with lingonberry and whipped cream, one with cinnamon and sugar and whipped cream, and one with maple syrup.

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Weeeeellll... theoretically, yes. I learned in Denmark, driving a friend's SEAT on a deserted beachfront road. However, that was 13 years ago, and I haven't driven a stick shift since that summer. I'm not at all confident that I could do it now. But I'm sure I'd be able to re-learn it pretty quickly.

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Luneray's answer is the same as what I would have chosen: midnight blue. Maybe one of the reasons we fit together so well?

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom. We spent nearly three hours on the phone yesterday.

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? No one sent it to me, but I did steal it from someone I like a great deal. :-)

9. How old are you today? 32

10. Favorite drink? It changes all the time. Right now, I'm really hitting the Apfelschorle pretty hard. I'm also a big fan of belgian beers pretty much all the time.

11. What is your favorite sport to watch? D) None of the above.

12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes, most recently about two weeks ago. I've been staying pretty close to my natural color recently, but I also like to go a little bit red sometimes.

13. Pets? The irascible, intentionally incontinent Jenna-the-Cat

14. Favorite food? D) All of the above. No, really, I'm a big fan of food in general. Cheese is my biggest downfall, though.

15. Last movie you watched? I saw part of the MST3K episode, "The Girl In Gold Boots", which was not really their best effort. In fact, it was so bad that when I got a phone call during the movie, I took it, instead of ignoring the phone or asking the person if I could call them back later, and I didn't ask Ash to put the movie on pause. The last movie I saw all the way to the end was probably Kebab Connection. I thought it was hysterical, Ash thought it was nice that I enjoyed myself so much. "Zwei Handvoll Doener!". Hey, BTW, anyone have a clue why I can't make foreign characters on my new laptop? The old "ALT0246" trick doesn't work anymore since I got the new Dell running Vista.

16. Favorite Day of the year? I love the day when the leaves pop out on the trees. Screw Robin Redbreast,
that's the first sign of Spring as far as I'm concerned.

17. What do you do to vent anger? I yell, then I cry.

18. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had these little stuffed monkeys with velcro hands. They were named Jeff and Julie, after the little kids in the Sunday School books.

20. Hugs or kisses? Hugs. I'm entirely uncomfortable with the whole "kiss as greeting" thing. It just feels unnatural to me, but maybe that's just because of context-- it seems somehow pretentious here. Maybe I'd feel differently if I lived in France.

21. Cherry or Blueberry? This is entirely contextual as well. Are we talking "-flavor" or about the actual fruit? What kind of cherry? What am I eating it in/ with?

22. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday. I cried when the mom on Clean House gave up her boxes of books so that her girls could get nice new beds, and Miss Niecy asked her if it was hard for her to give up her books, and the mom said "Not for my girls. Anything for my girls." I'm totally tearing up right now, thinking about that. When did I turn into such a sap?

23. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes, Jaffa crates full of candles, a couple of purses that fell off of the hooks behind the closet door, and a jumbo pack of paper towels. Also, a sweatshirt that Jenna likes to lay on when she's "hiding" behind the hems of my dresses.

24. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Hulio, who I met when I was 18.

25. Who is the friend you see the least and miss often? Luneray. I don't see Hulio as often as I wish I could (which would be almost every day) either, but at least she's only in the next state over instead of all the way on the other coast.

26. Favorite smells? Coffee brewing, rain, leaves on the ground in the Fall, the back of Ash's neck, laundry, used bookstores and old libraries.

27. Who inspires you? Y'all, I have totally been drinking the kool-aid: Barack Obama inspires me. Also, Madeleine Albright, who is absolutely one of my heros.

28. What are you afraid of? Spiders, needles, and heights.

29. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese. Lots of it, preferably with mushrooms, or bacon, or maybe all three. Do you know what is delicious? Make a burger with a little A1 sauce in the meat, then melt a little Boursin cheese on top. Yum.

30. Favorite car? I don't really have one, per se. I like small-ish and fuel efficient.

31. Favorite dog breed? I love dachshunds, and greyhounds are really great, too. But then, I've not met many dogs I didn't like, ever.

32. Number of keys on your key ring? About 10.

33. How many years at your current job? Just over a year.

34 Favorite day of the week? Saturday.

35. Who is your favorite in-law? My sister-in-law, Liz. However, I should say that I have fantastic in-laws all round. I was very lucky that Ash's family are so welcoming and loving.

36. Do you think you're funny? Sometimes, I'm freaking hysterical. But only sometimes. I tend to take things too seriously to be truly funny.

There Are a Lot of Countries in the World

131

I'm going to give myself carpal tunnel syndrome playing this game. It's completely addictive.

**Updated with new, higher score! I can't stop playing this game!

I Thought of a Very Clever Title For This Post, But I Didn't Write It Down, So Now I've Forgotten It

Paca tagged me for a meme with the following rules:

1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Okay. Let's see...

1. I like plain oatmeal, but only the really good, non-instant kind.

2. Small children love me. Children in shops and on the street regularly take my hand, grab hold of my leg, reach to be picked up, smile, laugh, and tell me stories, often over the concerned or embarassed protests of their parents. I could have a great career as a kidnapper, if I were so inclined.

3. I played the munchkin who says "We thank you very sweetly for killing her so neatly...", etc. in a summer stock production of The Wizard of Oz when I was 17. It was my first and last speaking role, in no small part because it was the second summer stock production I was ever in (having played a wardrobe girl in Act I and a Bathing Beauty in Act II of a production of Mack and Mabel with the same company the previous summer), and also my last-- I left for Germany and by the time I came back, I was too busy to get involved in that sort of thing. Sometimes I toy with the idea of trying out for some community theater production, but then I think that maybe it's better to keep the memory of those two wonderful summers intact.

4. At any given time, the number of lip balms I own can be measured by double digits. Same for the number of lipsticks. I set a moratorium on new lipstick purchases every once in a while, but it never lasts long because I am constantly searching for the perfect pink lipstick. My coloring makes most pinks look unbearably sickly on me. It used to be the search for the perfect shade of brown that fueled my acquisitions, but I now own at least ten brown lipsticks that I love, plus a handful that I think are okay and use for mixing with other lipsticks.

5. The first meal of any given day must be breakfast-- and by this, I mean it must consist of foods that I consider "breakfast food". The very idea of eating, for example, cold pizza for breakfast makes me queasy. However, once I eat a small breakfast and have coffee, I am perfectly willing to segue into non-breakfast foods, provided that there is a short interval of time in between.

6. I cannot sleep without a blanket, no matter how hot the temperature is in the room. In the summer, I often spend several minutes trying to rearrange the covers so that the minimum amount of skin is covered that will still allow me to fall asleep and stay asleep. I am also a blanket hog.

7. I used to dislike the comic strip Pearls Before Swine until I read it in Swedish. Now I think it's hysterical in English and Swedish. I cannot explain this. Now that I know that Stephan Pastis is an ex-attorney, I think the strip is even funnier.

8. If I had to go back and do college over again, but couldn't major in the same thing, I would choose to major in Geology. I put off fulfilling my science requirement until the last possible moment, and I loved my Geology classes so much that I half-seriously considered trying to add a minor.

9. I have been to more foreign countries than states of the United States.

10. I had scarlet fever as a young child and it left streaks in the enamel of my teeth. But I've never had a cavity, not even after the five year stretch when I had no dental insurance and consequently did not go to the dentist.

Wow, that was actually kind of hard. Maaaan and now I have to think of people to tag? Ummm... Sonja for sure. J was already tagged by Paca, Paca tagged me... Ooo, Luneray has a blog and so does Eep, so they're all tagged and stuff... Oh! Juice! You're tagged! And now I am drawing a blank on other bloggers who I like and read and if you want to consider yourself tagged, please do, but I am going to hit "Publish" and then go check my email. And work on packing. Because we are moving in five (5) days.

Who Wants to Go Out For Martinis?

You Are a Chocolate Martini

You're an elegant drunk, who only likes the best bars and the most expensive drinks. A bit of a cheapskate, you're likely to mooch ten dollar drinks off both friends and strangers. You should never: Drink and dash. You're gonna get caught leaving someone with the tab! Your ideal party: A posh celebrity party you crash, with an open bar.

Friday Five in the House!

1. Have you ever purchased anything from a telemarketer? From an infomercial? From a spam email? From a pop-up ad?

No, and I never will. I think that telemarketing and its ilk are the lowest possible forms of communication and have no desire to make them seem viable business models. If no one ever bought any of it, the slimy jerks behind it would stop sending it out. And as for infomercials a) I have no television, and b)if something is, in fact, really cool, it will show up at Target or Linens-N-Things far cheaper and minus the shipping and handling charges.

2. When something is funny, do you usually laugh raucously, hiss, snort, chuckle quietly to yourself, or smile and nudge the person next to you?

My laugh tends to be very loud-- as in, people turn to see what's so funny. And if it's really, really funny? I snort.

3. If you had to go into a witness protection plan and start from scratch, what would you look like, do for a living, and where would you live?

Well, if the whole point of going into witness protection is to remove any trace of your existence, wouldn't they try to send you somewhere and make you someone with no connection to any of your real interests? That would probably land me in Iowa or something, with a job as, I don't know, a high school gym teacher or something.

But let's be in fantasyland for a moment:

If I have to stay in the US, I guess I'd want to live in a place like New York or D.C., where lots of people are from somewhere else, so your sudden appearance and lack of ties to the area would raise absolutely no suspicion, plus they'd be cool places to live. Having never been to New York, I'd lean toward D.C. I don't know what they'd do about changing my appearance, because my skin is too dark to go blonde and I look strange as a redhead, too (not that I've ever, ummmmm, experimented with hair dyes). Maybe I could get some sort of plastic surgery that would make me look more Asian or something that would match my coloring? And since the government would be taking care of my basic needs, I'd take a job working with books. In a secondhand bookstore. Or maybe I'd make them send me back to school, permanently. OOOO! That would be a great witness protection plan! I could just go from university to university, earning graduate degrees under different aliases. And there'd be no pressure to get a job afterward, so I could just, you know, enjoy the learning parts.

4. How comfortable are you with human contact? Hugs, kisses, PDA?

Very. I tend to touch other people when I talk, I hug everyone who acts like they'd hug me back, and PDA doesn't bother me-- though I wouldn't do anything that would make others uncomfortable or land me on COPS. Also, I cannot stand to be near Ash and not touching-- holding hands, shoulders brushing, snuggled up on the couch, limbs tangled in sleep, whatever.

5. What is one of your favorite souvenirs brought back from your travels? Where do you keep it?

I have lots of little things. The first time I went to Germany, I came home with a suitcase full of tourist crap because I totally got sucked into it and also because I kind of thought (snicker) that I'd never get to go back (hee hee). Over the years, I've refined my souvenir approach. I get little things that I will use in everyday life. It's the Erma Bombeck Theory of Souvenirs: if I can open the junk drawer, looking for a pencil, and find a bottle opener from Hawaii, complete with tacky hula girl on it, and it sparks a memory of a wonderful time, then it's worth it. So I have a Muumin thermometer on my refrigerator and a stack of Bierdeckel that I can use as coasters (if I were classy enough to use a coaster). I have a coffee mug with my on it that says "Lebensnotwendig: Nummer 1. Liebe, Nummer 2. Kaffee" and it makes me smile everytime I see it.

I also have a handful of big things, mostly gifts. For example, I have a gorgeous dirndl that belonged to my host mother when she was a teenager. I also have a license plate that my accountant host father (from a different host family) stole for me after I expressed a desire to have one for my wall at home (I was only fifteen at the time, shut up.). I have a string of pearls that my host parents (the same ones who gave me the dirndl) gave me when I lived with them again in college. I have a sweater that I bought at a flea market in Denmark from some kid who didn't speak English-- and lord knows I didn't and don't speak Danish-- so we dickered over the price using hand motions and my German-Danish dictionary.

The one thing that I get the most comments on is the Marimekko purse I bought in Finland*. I can't tell you how many people have stopped me in shops and on the street to ask where I got the purse. I always feel a little bit bad when I tell them I got it in Finland (though, technically, I bought it on the Ferry to Stockholm from Helsinki). I decided shortly after returning to the U.S. that I want Marimekko dishes-- because that's not at all impractical or insanely expensive for someone of my means.

*My purse is more of a satchel and it's in the red poppy design.

Now I Know My ABCs...

Accent: Slight Midwestern twang? I've had people comment on how I pronounce "o" before, and I do use the word "y'all" on a regular basis.

Booze: Yes, please! I like me some dry, dry red wine, single malt scotch, B&B, and Belgian beers (pass the Corsendonk!). I hate cheap American beers, and [whispers]I'm not a real fan of German beers, either.*

Chore I Hate: Doing the dishes. I'd rather scrub the toilet than wash dishes. I dream of the day when I finally live somewhere with a dishwasher.

Dog or Cat: Cat.



Essential Electronics: Laptop. I don't even want to send it out for the minor repairs it needs because I love it and cannot live without it.

Favorite Cologne: Red Door. I've worn it since high school, though I wear other things sometimes, too. I used to have a bottle of Jil Sander No.5 and I would love to get my hands on a bottle of it again.

Gold or Silver: White gold, thank you. Or (if I ever, you know, make some money) platinum. Which means: silver. Because it's all I can afford.

Hometown: Cincinnati, Ohio.

Insomnia: Occasionally. I can usually cure it by moving to a different location to sleep, like the couch. Sometimes I just move so that I'm horiztontal across the bed instead of vertical and that does the trick. Reading (even something deadly dull, like Federal Income Taxation) or getting up to do something else just makes me more awake.

Job Title: This week: Law student. Next week: Unemployed law school graduate.

Kids: None. But I like 'em. Well, some of them. Not the one in Target yesterday, though.

Living Arrangements: My very own 1BR, 1Ba, with a fake FP and Hwd Flrs.

Most Admirable Traits: I will do anything for the people I love.

Number of States Lived In: 4.

Overnight Hospital Stays: Surprisingly, no. Though, technically I've spent the night in the ER a couple of times, I've never been admitted as an inpatient.
Edit: I've been reminded that I spent the first six weeks of my life in the hospital because I was born at 30 weeks. Having no conscious memory of that time, I tend to forget about it.

Phobias: Spiders and needles. The kind you get a vaccination with, not the kind you mend your socks with.

Quote: "I'm just sayin'..."

Religion: I believe in God and in the general precepts of Christianity, but I have a major problem with organized religion.

Siblings: A younger sister who I never get along with, even though we're both adults now. That makes me very sad. I'm really quite jealous of my girlfriends who've become friends with their sisters over the years.

Time I Wake Up: Around 7 a.m. or so on days I have class and by 9 a.m. or so on days when I've got other crap to get done. Usually before 11 on days that I don't. I am usually very cranky when I first get up, too. Sooo not a morning person!

Unusual Talent or Skill: Speaking Swedish? I don't know, really. I can cook very well, but that's not an unusual talent. I'm a pretty good knitter, but that's not unusual anymore. I am the Queen of Parallel Parking. Come to think of it, if the streets around here are anything to go by, that's a very unusual skill.

Vegetable I Love: White asparagus. I love almost all vegetables, except brussels sprouts and carrots. Brussels sprouts I really dislike. Carrots I'm just not particularly fond of-- raw are better than cooked, but I'd choose other veggies if I had my druthers.

Worst Habit: Procrastination. I am the worst procrastinator in the world.

X-Rays: Every part of my body has been x-rayed at some point, though not recently. I think my last x-rays were of my teeth, and they were made at the dentist back in 2002.

Yummy Foods I Make: Poppyseed cake, chicken curry, lasagna, mashed leeks, lamb with a red current glaze, Semmelknödel (though it's difficult to get the right kind of bread here in the U.S.), Jägerschnitzel, stuffed mushrooms, baked brie... I love to cook and I think I do it pretty well.

Zodiac Sign: Picses.

*They are never going to let me back in the country again.

Giving Whole New Meaning to Play Dough

The disturbing thing is that it comes from the official Pillsbury website.

I love the kisses he blows at the end of this one.

You can also make your own dance.

Difficult Choices

Now, if we were talking about buttered toast, it would be a nearly impossible decision. I love toast.

Homeland Security MUST Have a File On Me Somewhere

This referral has been inducted into the pantheon of my all-time favorite referrals to my blog. What makes it especially funny to me is that it came from Saudi Arabia. Wouldn't looking at this kind of stuff be, oh... illegal in Saudi Arabia? Wouldn't it be funny if my blog somehow ended up being inaccessible from Saudi Arabia?

Whoever this was must have been so disappointed.

On a more literary note, someone researching a paper for their lit class also wandered by. It sounds like an interesting topic.

Searches for porn and literature, both in the same 24 hour period! I must be doing something right.

Friday Five-- Delayed Due to Illness

1. Describe the condition of your keyboard:
The letters are wearing off some of the keys (good thing I can touch type), which just goes to show how much work I do on this laptop. Also, for some reason, the "7" key keeps popping off. It pops right back on, no problem, but I can't figure out why it keeps popping off in the first place.

2. Can you sing, or are you always out of key?
I sing fine if I really try to. If I'm just belting out a song on the radio, or goofing around with friends, I'm terribly out of key.

3. What keys do you carry with you?
My apartment keys, keys to the PLISF office, my car keys, the key to my parents' front door and Ash's keys. I was carrying Hulio's keys as well, but they are on a separate key ring now. I also used to carry Finbar's parents' key, but took it off back in the Fall. However, I've never gotten around to sending it back to them, and frankly, I'm not sure where the "safe spot" I put them in is anymore.

4. What is the key to personal happiness?
Give and receive generously. Live responsibly. Make time for your friends. Always take the opportunity to say "I love you" to your loved ones-- and listen for the silent ways your loved ones say it back without ever opening their mouths.

5. What gets you keyed up?
Unfairness. Injustice. News reporters who can't use proper grammar. Superficial drivel masquerading as "news coverage". Bad coffee. Willful ignorance.

How Fitting

You Are Scooter

Brainy and knowledgable, you are the perfect sidekick. You're always willing to lend a helping hand. In any big event or party, you're the one who keeps things going. "15 seconds to showtime!"

The Muppet Personality Test

This was actually one of my nicknames in high school, earned because I paid for my ballet classes by working for the professional company the school was affiliated with in a backstage capacity (mending costumes, cleaning the studios, assisting with quick shoe and costume changes, generally being a gopher). Old habits die hard?

Almost As Good As Chuck Norris

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Katze!

1. Grapes explode if you put them inside Katze!
2. There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat Katze, though it may feel uncomfortable!
3. The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, Katze and compline.
4. When Katze is swallowed, she will enter the blood stream within twenty minutes!
5. Ninety-six percent of all candles sold are purchased by Katze!
6. Katze does not have toes.
7. Britain's Millennium Dome is more than double the size of Katze!
8. If you drop Katze from more than three metres above ground level, she will always land feet-first.
9. California is the biggest exporter of Katze in the world!
10. The patron saint of Katze is Saint Eugenie.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

ETA: In reading comments on this post, I realized that I omitted to mention that this came from Eep. Mea culpa!

Bork Qaeda Ties?

I always knew there was something strange about him.

Give Me an A, Or I'll Roundhouse Kick You In The Face!

Courtesy of War, who claims to have gotten it from John, but failed to specify whether she means Wellington or London, bringing her credibility into disrepute. But it's funny, so who cares.

THIRTY THINGS ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

5. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

6. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he
realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

7. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

8. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

9. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

10. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

11. Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No fat Chicks.

12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck
Norris."

13. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

14. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

15. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

16. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

17. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

18. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

19. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

20. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

21. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

22. Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

23. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.

24. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

25. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

26. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

27. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

28. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.His reasoning? It was more "humane".

29. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

30. Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.