From the "That's Not Exactly News" Files

Recent headlines that made me want to find the editor and reporter and poke them both in the eye with a sharp stick:

"Poor hurt worst in struggling economy"

Really? You mean people who were already struggling, who don't have a cushion or safety net to help them weather the storm, are having more difficulty in the crap stew that eight years of failed policy has turned our economy into than people who were already financially stable and had the opportunity to build savings, or people who have enough wealth that they have "paper losses"?

"No good way to tell kids they have cancer"

Huh. You mean telling a child that they have a disease that will almost definitely require a long and unpleasant course of treatment and may kill them is a bad thing, and even if you hire a clown or buy them a special "You've Got Cancer" pony, it won't make it a good thing?

"Youthfulness is Becoming American Obsession"

Get. Out. You mean the fact that a model is considered "too old" at an age when most of us haven't even started careers yet, and the 18 - 24 year demographic is slavishly pandered to in our media and marketing isn't an aberration?