Saturday, July 07, 2007

Memo to My Boss

To: Angela
From: Katze
Re: Your speakerphone


We value the loose and collegial atmosphere in our department and realize that your very sincere open door policy is partly responsible for that. You are very approachable for a Department Head. From the very bottom of our work hearts, thank you for that. However, your use of the speakerphone is becoming problematic, and we need to address that.

It is patently unfair that you did not get a "real" office when the floor was reconfigured. I don't know what they were thinking. The wall that stops three feet from the ceiling and the little sliding door are not an entirely effective acoustic barrier, especially given the fact that you long ago mastered the art of projecting your voice and ennunciating clearly. Still, they do help somewhat, and as such, we respectfully ask that you start using them. No one will take it as a sign that you are revoking the open door policy, and if anyone from outside the team approaches and seems to be hesitant, the two of us who sit directly in front of your walled-off alcove will be sure to set them straight. In fact, they are already used to asking us for updates on your whereabouts and your expected ETA from whatever meeting you happen to be in at that point in time, so they'll probably just flat out ask us.

But what would really, really help us to be able to concentrate on our work and have our own phone conversations with customers is this: stop using your speakerphone. There is really no reason why you can't just pick up the receiver and hold it to your ear like the rest of us do. Also, if you must hold a conference call, thereby necessitating the use of the speakerphone, please, please try to book one of the conference rooms.

The two of us who sit right next to your alcove bear the brunt of the auditory onslaught, but we have heard from the people in the next row over that they, too, are disturbed by the noise levels. We know you are capable of doing this for us, since you manage to shut your door and lower your voice when you are dealing with personal matters (though obviously, this is imperfect, since the two of us sitting right next to you know that you're discussing personal matters. However, we are willing to do our part and turn up the volume on the discman/ipod/internet radio station so that we're not eavesdropping on you. We're happy to expand this to all conversations and as people who work in the noisy cubicle environment, we also employ the "willful deafness" necessary to surviving the work day. All we ask of you is that you meet us halfway.

Thanks so much for your attention to this important matter!



At 8:04 PM , Blogger Sonja said...

Ahh, the joys of office work. :(

At 1:20 AM , Blogger luneray said...

Or ask her to get a hands-free headset. If she's like my boss, she needs both hands to reach for papers/continue typing/riffle through files while on the phone.

But what I really, really freaking hate is people who check their voice mail on speakerphone.

At 11:34 PM , Anonymous Christina said...

One of my bosses is like that, but it thankfully is not nearly as disruptive. I just don't get it though- it's hard to hear and be heard on speakerphone. No me gusta the speakerphone.


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