Always Be Aware of Your Surroundings

Late Saturday afternoon, Ash and I got in the car and set off for the mall. It was a glorious sunny weekend, the sort of weather that just begs you to shirk your responsibilities and do something fun. As I pulled up to the traffic light at the end of the road from our neighborhood, I looked up at the highway overpass and noticed that the traffic wasn't moving at all. We were taking a closer look, trying to decide whether it affected the lanes in one direction or both directions-- in other words, whether we should turn around and take the back roads to the mall-- when a very blonde woman jumped over the jersey barrier between the westbound lanes and the median. She ran over behind one of the decorative bushes at the top of the hill, and in full view of both lanes of travel, plus the lines of traffic at the bottom of the hill, waiting for the traffic light to turn green, she dropped her spandex pants and took a piss. Allow me to illustrate:



Ash and I looked at each other, torn between laughter and horror. Transfixed, we looked up the hill in time to watch her pull up her panties (white granny panties) and pants (black spandex capris), run back over to the jersey barrier and haul herself back over into the lanes of traffic in a single, practiced movement.

Wow. I guess when you've gotta go, you've gotta go. I wonder if she realized just how little cover those decorative shrubberies provided?