Monday, January 23, 2006

Skewing the Numbers

If there is a sudden spike in heart attack related deaths in Our Fair City today, you can place the blame squarely on the bus driver on my way in to Our Law School this morning. The first time I saw him stop with three or four inches between his bumper and the car in front of us, I thought it was one of those little things that happens from time to time. Anyone who’s ever driven a car will have at least one such occurrence in their past: the stop sign you missed, the car traveling in the lane next to you in your blind spot, the left turn in front of a car moving a little faster than you thought when you started the turn. Alas, it quickly became apparent that this was no one off, never-happen-again occurrence. Each stop involved a quick intake of breath by the passengers at the front of the bus. I began to think that the driver was engaged in some self-imposed challenge to see just how close he could get the bus to the next closest vehicle without actually touching, with a goal of measuring the results in molecules. Now, I’m sure that the driver is extraordinarily talented and has utter control over the multi-ton hunk of steel we are all riding in at every moment. I am certain that he is the Chuck Norris of bus drivers. Still. The law of averages would seem to say that sooner or later, things are bound to end unhappily. I’m just thankful that I got off the bus before that could happen.


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