Get a Little Closer, Don't Be Shy

The bus was intensely crowded this morning. Deodorant commercial crowded. We were pressed in together, swaying back and forth, trying not to knock each other over with each lurch of the bus. The driver was doing his best not to slam the brakes or swing around the corners too violently. As we approached a stop, someone a few rows back started making their laborious way toward the doors, and the people around that person tried to move to the sides to allow passage to the front of the bus. I guess I didn’t move far enough because she placed her hand sqarely on my back and pushed—not very hard, not violently, just a little “signal push”, if you will—compelling me forward just slightly and eliminating the mostly symbolic half centimeter of space I’d carefully maintained between myself and the man standing in front of me. Let me tell you, I normally only stand that close to Ash. And of course, she stopped right there for what felt like an eternity, but was probably really only 10 or 15 seconds, drawing out the moment of awkward closeness. I looked up at the poor guy whose remaining personal space I had just stolen and using my best Joey Tribiani voice said “How you doin’?”. He started to laugh. The woman moved on and I stepped away again. He winked at me and said “Was it as good for you as it was for me?” and the people around us started laughing, too.