Millions for Special Effects, but Not a Penny for a Copy Editor

Ash and I saw Ironman on Sunday. It was fairly well-acted. The special effects were pretty great. It was a terrible movie. Really awful. As in, Ash and I were making fun of it while we were watching it. Not Legend of Bagger Vance bad, but definitely not worth paying $10 each to see. Luckily, we went to see a matinee in no small part as a way to get out of the oppressive heat (how very old school of us!).

For me, the whole movie can be summed up by this:

Toward the beginning of the movie, they're showing a little montage of "news coverage" about Tony Stark, giving those of us who never read an Ironman comic the back story on his character. And at the point where Tony takes over his father's company, there's a cover "from" Fortune magazine or some such, and the headline is "Tony Takes Over the Reigns!" I couldn't help myself. It just popped out of my mouth unbidden, and probably a little louder than it should have, "Oh my God, it's spelled wrong!" Seriously, how many levels of review did that have to go through before it actually made the final print of the movie? And no one in the whole process ever said "Ummmmmm, guys? I think there's a little error in this one..."?

I also loved how, as the final battle scene was getting under way, Ironman takes off to kick some bad guy butt, and the military dude stops to look at the unfinished Ironman suit still on the stand and says "Next time, dude, next time." Heh, set up for the sequel much? Yeesh.

As far as I'm concerned, Robert Downey, Jr. owes me two and a half hours of my life back.

If All Else Fails, Fall Back on Grammar

"In his argument under the point, appellant notes that the Board's conclusion was stated in the conjunctive rather than in the disjunctive as set out in art. 4551h. As a result, says appellant, the Board must demonstrate that his prescription of dilaudid (1) was not necessary or required and (2) would promote or further addiction."

(Taken from Bowman v. Texas Board of Medical Examiners

More Language Pedantry

“When he returned to work” is not synonymous as “whenever he returned to work”. They mean two entirely different things. The first refers to a single event in the past. The second refers to a recurring event in the past, presumably triggering a similar outcome each time. They may sound similar, but they are different.

Look Out, The Grammar Police Are Coming!

One of my language pet peeves is people who misuse the word “whenever”—specifically, those who substitute “whenever” for “when”. ATTENTION! The sentence “Whenever the child has been placed for adoption, the records were sealed” imples that a)the child was placed for adoption on multiple occasions and b) each time the child was placed for adoption, the records were sealed. Technically, this set of facts could happen. However, they DIDN’T. The child was only placed for adoption ONCE. Therefore, the condition set forth in section a) has not been met. Your sentence is WRONG.

To recap:
Whenever is not a synonym for when. “ ’s ” does not denote a plural. Quotation marks are not for emphasis, and if you advertise “Fresh” Produce on your store windows, I will have grave doubts about the purchase of comestibles from your establishment.

Thank you and goodnight.