Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Look Out, The Grammar Police Are Coming!

One of my language pet peeves is people who misuse the word “whenever”—specifically, those who substitute “whenever” for “when”. ATTENTION! The sentence “Whenever the child has been placed for adoption, the records were sealed” imples that a)the child was placed for adoption on multiple occasions and b) each time the child was placed for adoption, the records were sealed. Technically, this set of facts could happen. However, they DIDN’T. The child was only placed for adoption ONCE. Therefore, the condition set forth in section a) has not been met. Your sentence is WRONG.

To recap:
Whenever is not a synonym for when. “ ’s ” does not denote a plural. Quotation marks are not for emphasis, and if you advertise “Fresh” Produce on your store windows, I will have grave doubts about the purchase of comestibles from your establishment.

Thank you and goodnight.

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