I Love Smart Aleck Columnists

The best quote yet regarding this whole Mel Gibson debacle is at the end of this piece:
"One does not abruptly decide, between the first and second vodka ... that the Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion are valid after all."

Exactly. Time to get that nutjob off into obscurity, where he's always belonged. I've never found him handsome or a compelling actor. I've never understood his popularity at all. In fact, I find him mildly distasteful in almost everything I've ever seen him in. It's not quite to the level of my hatred for Jim Carrey, but I will think twice about seeing a movie with Mel Gibson in it. I don't care how much coke you did or how many fifths of Jim Beam you just downed, remarks that nasty aren't an aberration, they're your real personality peeking through the veneer of normalcy and respectability you've so carefully cultivated for your public persona.

Don't Be a Weenie

Start here. Then read this. If this blog wasn't already dedicated to whining about law school and telling pointless stories for my own amusement, I would totally copy this guy. I've bemoaned the fact that cars don't come with bullhorns as standard equipment for years now. ("Hey, you! Yeah, you in the blue Accord. Turn signals are standard in all vehicles. Yours are probably located on a long black stick attached to the steering wheel." "Yo! You in the red Corvette! Try actually stopping for the stop sign. And that combover isn't fooling anyone, brah."

Until those actually start showing up as standard equipment, this is a great substitute!

Quotable

Second best Law and Order dialogue ever:

"What can I say? What's his name was a better time than the Rule Against Perpetuities."

"Who isn't?"

Easy Targets

"No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office." -- Covert Bradley, fitness expert

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them." - Lily Tomlin