Exciting New Opportunity

I have a Monster Job Search Agent set up that I check sporadically, watching for the next great opportunity in my career path. Yesterday, the agent returned this exciting result:

Jun 28, Truck Driver - Hiring Nationwide! Truck Driver TRAINING AVAILABLE, C.R. England

I wonder which part of my agent, which is set up to look for jobs in the legal and non-profit sectors, paired me up with this listing?

Scenes From a Belgian Pub

Severely Overdressed Woman With a Loud Voice: "Excuse me, miss. Do you have any Perrier?"

Young Waitress Who's Halfway Into the Weeds: "Our wine list is right next to the window."

Self-Awareness

One of my coworkers was on vacation last week, and it was significantly quieter while she was gone. The good kind of quieter. And by "significantly quieter", I mean "to the point where nearly every other person in our little section of the cube farm remarked on it".

Monday, she came back from vacation. Sick. And so, not only are did the noise level return to the pre-vacation level of high, but our days are now punctuated by frequent nose blowing. No, not "blowing". Honking. Old-man-in-a-white-handkerchief, shake-the-window-panes, set-off-a-car-alarm honking. All. Day. Long.

I want to scream.

It's not so much that I think that one must silently wipe one's nose such that no one could be audibly aware of your mucus output. But there is NO FREAKING NEED for that kind of thing in the office.

Then, yesterday, she asked another coworker to make a follow up call to a customer, because "[she's] sick, and [she's] not sure that she should be calling customers while [she's] sick". Making these phone calls is, of course, one of her major job duties. And -- of course!-- she's not too sick to have long, loud conversations on her cell phone with her family.

Today, following another round of "Holy Cow, Is that the Last Trump I Hear?", she announced, "Boy, I bet you wish you all wish I had stayed on vacation, huh?"

Nope. Not quite! What we really wish is that you would utilize some of the generous sick leave benefits our company gives to each and every one of us and STAY HOME if you're this sick. Barring that, could you try and blow your nose in a manner befitting someone who works in a cubicle farm with lots of other people.

Millions for Special Effects, but Not a Penny for a Copy Editor

Ash and I saw Ironman on Sunday. It was fairly well-acted. The special effects were pretty great. It was a terrible movie. Really awful. As in, Ash and I were making fun of it while we were watching it. Not Legend of Bagger Vance bad, but definitely not worth paying $10 each to see. Luckily, we went to see a matinee in no small part as a way to get out of the oppressive heat (how very old school of us!).

For me, the whole movie can be summed up by this:

Toward the beginning of the movie, they're showing a little montage of "news coverage" about Tony Stark, giving those of us who never read an Ironman comic the back story on his character. And at the point where Tony takes over his father's company, there's a cover "from" Fortune magazine or some such, and the headline is "Tony Takes Over the Reigns!" I couldn't help myself. It just popped out of my mouth unbidden, and probably a little louder than it should have, "Oh my God, it's spelled wrong!" Seriously, how many levels of review did that have to go through before it actually made the final print of the movie? And no one in the whole process ever said "Ummmmmm, guys? I think there's a little error in this one..."?

I also loved how, as the final battle scene was getting under way, Ironman takes off to kick some bad guy butt, and the military dude stops to look at the unfinished Ironman suit still on the stand and says "Next time, dude, next time." Heh, set up for the sequel much? Yeesh.

As far as I'm concerned, Robert Downey, Jr. owes me two and a half hours of my life back.

Stormtroopers Need Love, Too

This is such a great photo set. I especially love this little guy searching for his valentine.