Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Selling My Most Marketable Skill

Today I walked into another restaurant, filled out an application, interviewed, and was hired all in the space of about 30 minutes. Oh, would that the legal employment world worked that way! I start training at the new place-- let's call it La Cucina-- on Sunday. Which means that tomorrow, I'm going to walk into the soon-to-be former place of employment and quit. I'm excited because man do I HATE my job. I hate the customers so much I can barely stop myself from being flat out rude to them. The other night, I was actually muttering "IhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyou" every time I walked through the server alley areas, out of sight of the dining room. I figure it's only a matter of time before I actually say it out loud somewhere where a customer hears me... and I probably won't even be contrite when it happens. The new place is part of a large chain, which makes me a little queasy, but its average per plate cost is nearly triple what the average plate at the hated job is. My theory is that at least if they leave me a 10% tip, it will be a couple of dollars, not 90 cents. The manager who interviewed me talked a good game about flexibility, so hopefully I'll have a good chance at making decent money and being able to take on other work as it comes along.

I am, however, also pretty nervous about giving my notice, and I don't really understand why. It's not like I owe these people anything. They're not friends or family, and I shouldn't be worried about making them mad or hurting their feelings, yet I am. I wonder why that is? And what can I do to stop feeling this way? I've known lots of people who have no problem whatsoever looking out for themselves in the workplace, who feel no compulsion to take their employer's feelings into account-- and lord knows most employers aren't exactly taking your feelings into account. But then I know other people-- first and foremost among them, my mother-- who develop great loyalty to their employers and will give of themselves until well beyond the point of reason, and then are terribly hurt when that loyalty is repaid with betrayal by their employers. Most of the first group seem to be men. Most of the second seem to be women. And even though I recognize the fault in myself, I seem to be at a loss to stop it. Nature or nurture?



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