Belligerent Breakfast Foods

I recently bought a box of Apple Strudel Poptarts and this morning, as I was packing my lunch, it struck me that an Apple Strudel Poptart might really hit the spot. I put my brown sugar and maple oatmeal back in the cabinet and opened the box of Poptarts. I did not notice any cartoon characters on the box, such as one might expect if a promotion for a movie or tv show or something is underway.

Following my first class, I sat down on the couch in the library to drink my coffee and eat my Poptart. When I pulled the silver wrapped toaster pastry from the bag I noticed a strange little cartoon woman printed on the label, asking me "Wanna arm wrestle?"

Why is my breakfast food threatening me? Isn't the saturated fat and sodium content in these things threat enough?