The Drama About the Seating Chart

Dragonbreath has created a whole bunch of drama for the entire class. He must have gone crying to the professor, because the whole course received this email (slightly edited to removed identifying features) this afternoon—five times. We think he must have had a seizure and gotten his finger stuck on “Enter” or something.

Several people who sit in the back have told me that they would like to move closer to the front and take seats that seem to be generally vacant. As a general proposition, that seems reasonable to me. Nevertheless, there could be logistical problems. So we need to have an established procedure. Here is the one I propose:(1) When a person is not in his or her assigned seat by 9 a.m., anyone is permitted to sit in that seat.(2) When a person does not sit in his or her assigned seat for 2 or more classes in succession (unless he or she informs me in advance that s/he has a valid reason for not being in class), s/he loses the right to that seat and it can be assigned to another person. (3) When a new person has been assigned to the seat, a change will be made to the seating chart; the person who lost the seat will have to find a new seat. An alternative approach would be to simply have a new seating chart. I hope that anyone who has an opinion as to the preferable alternative will let me know either by email or after class tomorrow. If I don't hear from anyone, we will start with the first procedure specified tomorrow.

I felt that familiar feeling of wrath. Dragonbreath didn’t get his way so now we all have to suffer? I don’t think so. I fired this response off to the Prof.

Dear Professor Feedback,

Frankly, I do not feel that any change to the seating chart or implementation of "procedures" should be necessary. We all had the same chance to pick our seats at the beginning of the semester. Most of us made sure to arrive early that day to get the seats we desired. Those who chose seats in the back should have to live with that decision unless there is a truly compelling reason to change. Furthermore, allowing anyone to sit in a seat if it is not taken at 9 am opens the course to far more disruption. Busses will be late, traffic will get tied up, people will have job interviews that run late-- a few people will be late on any given day. As it stands, they can slip in and go directly to their seats with little or no disruption to the rest of the class. Under the plan you have suggested, these students will have to find an empty seat, leading to more wandering and longer disruption of the class time. Not only that, but the people who arrive in the last few minutes before class starts would be more likely to find that their seats are taken before the 9 am "deadline", adding to the time that it takes for people to come in, sit down, and be ready for class to start, wasting even more class time. Finally, implementing these procedures creates the need for someone to police the seating chart in order to be sure that items 2. and 3. are fairly and uniformly implemented. I see no reason why even a minute of class time should be spent on this kind of unnecessary administrative task. If these changes are implemented, you may as well do away with the seating chart altogether. I can't see how it has a purpose if anyone can sit anywhere they please.

I propose that, instead of uprooting the entire class for the whims of a few, a list be passed one day next week where any student wishing to move closer to the front and any student in the front willing to move to the back can sign the list and exchanges could be facilitated that way. That way, only those students will be affected. If there are students on the seating chart who have since dropped the course, perhaps that would open some seats. This would involve only one day of disruption. The administrative side of this would also take only one day and could be taken care of in the minutes immediately following class. No one will need to police the seating chart every class for the rest of the semester. This would be far more efficient and fair than a constant flux of seating based on whose bus was late that morning or who is out with the flu for a few days.

I hope you will consider this as a possible solution.

Having thus answered the challenge, I felt somehow alive. Dragonbreath is going down. In the bus on my way home, it occurred to me that I could and should rally the troops. In the (slightly paraphrased) words of Arlo Guthrie, if the Prof. gets 3 emails on the same topic with the same suggestion, he might think it’s a movement. I mean, can you imagine, 3 people walk in, sing a chorus of Alice’s Resta... oh, sorry. Got off topic there. Anyway, I got to Finbar’s place, where I related the story thus far amid much laughter while I was mixing and setting the meatloaf and potatoes for dinner. While everything was in the oven browning nicely and smelling so good it made you want to gnaw your own arm off because you just could’t wait for dinner to be ready, I checked my email and found this response, emailed to the whole course (although only once this time -- an improvement!) , from Prof. Feedback:

Here is a proposed alternative to the procedure I suggested:I propose that, instead of uprooting the entire class for the whims of a few, a list be passed one day next week where any student wishing to move closer to the front and any student in the front willing to move to the back can sign the list and exchanges could be facilitated that way. That way, only those students will be affected. If there are students on the seating chart who have since dropped the course, perhaps that would open some seats. This would involve only one day of disruption. The administrative side of this would also take only one day and could be taken care of in the minutes immediately following class. No one will need to police the seating chart every class for the rest of the semester. This would be far more efficient and fair than a constant flux of seating based on whose bus was late that morning or who is out with the flu for a few days. In some ways, I like this procedure better than the one I proposed. I would like to propose an addition, however, that would allow students who want a seat nearer the front to take seats that have been vacant for some time. I will be glad to hear more comments. I will not try to decide [before the next class]. Actually, I have decided to use power-point again in that class. Hopefully, every seat will be about equally good for that purpose.

This cracked me up. Notice how it was edited to remove some of the snarkier elements of my original missive. I forwarded the original to Pei, Dami, and LaPresidente and asked if they’d be willing to email Prof. Feedback and lobby against the proposed changes.

This morning when class began, Prof. Feedback took a moment to say that he didn’t feel that we should spend any class time on the issue (Amen!) and that what he wanted to do was that any one who wanted to move forward should email him and anyone in the front who was willing to move to the back should do the same and he is “confident that he can find a solution” that way.

And that PowerPoint thing? Didn't happen. He couldn't get it to work.

So I’m sitting in the class right now, looking around and noting to myself that there are five seats in the very front of the class. They are actually in front of the front row. Two extra tables and five chairs were put there at the beginning of the semester because one of the courses was overfull and needed the extra seating. If Dragonbreath needs to sit up close so very badly, then why doesn’t he sit there? He is now at the very top of my List. It’s not good to be on my List to begin with. Dragonbreath is going down. In flames.