Disoriented

I can no longer discern one day from the next.

This is a phenomenon that I normally experience around exams, when my normal schedule is thrown out the window and none of the normal markers that tell me "This is Tuesday" or "This is Saturday" exist. Now I'm experiencing it in a way I never did before: as a result of my 9-to-5 job.

You see, in school, every day is a different schedule. Although some classes meet M/T/W, others meet only on Tuesday or on M/T/H or whatever. But every day at work is just like the last day at work: 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., give or take, always in the same seat, always with the same people, always the same general work. I'm not saying that it's boring-- I'm actually really enjoying the work, even though I'm frustrated at times by my lack of practical knowledge-- it's just that there's no difference in the days and I don't know what to navigate by.

I don't remember it being quite so bad when I worked between college and law school. I mean, yeah, sometimes I'd have one of those days where you wake up convinced that it's Thursday, when really it's only Wednesday, or I'd have a moment where I couldn't remember if it was Saturday or Sunday, but not very often. Perhaps it's because there were certain things that happened on certain days every week, so you had points of reference. For example, every Tuesday was a staff meeting. So, if yesterday was the staff meeting, today must be Wednesday. And every other Friday was a meeting for the work crews, so if the office was full of 30-odd men and women that you normally only saw at the beginning and the end of each day, and it wasn't the beginning or the end of the day, then it's probably Friday-- and payday! See how it works? The office here is nowhere near that structured.

Perhaps there are subtle differences in routine that I just don't pick up on yet. Let's hope so: today, I spent the entire day convinced that it was Monday (AGAIN!) and it was really quite depressing.