Little Lotte Let Her Mind Wander

Julio and I saw The Phantom of the Opera yesterday. I really liked it—but then, I am a fan of musicals in general and I always loved The Phantom of the Opera in particular. Perhaps this is because I loved the book first, perhaps because it was at the height of its popularity during the time period when I was most involved in my dance and vocal training. When the movie was first announced, I was simply appalled. Most film versions of musicals are... not very good, at least in comparison to the stage production. I suppose this is only natural, for much the same reason that books are difficult to turn into an effective movie.

The movie was beautiful and the costumes were simply stunning. So many times I would see a dress or a swath of fabric or a curtain and I would think to myself “Oooo, I want some of that!”. (Of course, I thought the same thing every time Raul was on the screen...) The effects were good without being over the top. There were a few tweaks to the original score and libretto, but I thought they were well-conceived and nicely done. I really only have two beefs with the whole project—one major, one minor.

The first is the use of black-and-white “flashforward” scenes. The opening of The Phantom of the Opera is an auction of relics from the Opera Populaire, set some time in the future from the events of the story about to be told. Raul buys a music box and sings a few enigmatic lines about how the music box is exactly as “she” said it would be, then the auctioneer calls for Lot 666 (oooooo,spooky! Devil Number!): a chandelier in pieces that is rumored to be connected to the mysterious Phantom of the Opera, cue super-loud, overly electricized ALW overture.

The movie presents this scene in grainy black-and-white and I was all “Wow, what a cool staging of this scene”. When the overture begins, the movie slowly starts to morph to color and as the scene changes to color, the opera house morphs from broken down and cobwebby to opulent, glorious gold and velvet and marble. It’s incredibly cheesy, but so well-done and cool that you kind of have to love it anyway.

If they’d left it at that, I would have been well pleased. But no, Joel Schumacher has to keep coming back to it, sprinkling in several fairly confusing (and utterly useless)black and white scenes of Raul putting around Paris in his car looking tragically sad and lonely. And then he caps the movie with another of these scenes, which I suppose is supposed to be touching, but frankly made me giggle because it was the equivalent of the zombie hand shooting up out of the ground and made Julio whisper “Curses! Foiled again!” Never know when to leave well enough alone, do you Joel?

That was my minor beef. The major beef was the casting of the Phantom. He can’t sing, he’s too pretty, and he can’t act. The role calls for some serious tenor acrobatics and ol’ Gerard just doesn’t have the range. They kept changing the music to a lower key whenever he had to sing, which irritated the holy crap out of me. Julio said she didn’t notice it, so maybe this is not obvious to anyone who isn’t a veteran of a decade of strict voice teachers. And he’s totally good looking, to the point where, when he’s finally unmasked, you kind of think to yourself, “Well, that’s not so bad. I mean, yeah, it’s not great, but you really don’t need the mask. If people don’t love you for who you are, forget them.” It’s certainly not enough to cause the panic and mayhem the mere sight of his visage is supposed to inspire.

However, to counter that, Emmy Rossum is a divine Christine. Wonderful, expressive soprano voice. I heart her singing. Insanely gorgeous girl, too, which Joel takes full advantage of, eventually crossing the line with one too many lingering close-ups. But I’d rather have Emmy Rossum than Sarah Brightman any day, bar none. And Raul is so delicious you have to keep checking your chin for drool. Minnie Driver’s La Carlotta is hysterical and perfectly campy (in a good way).

I’ve been walking about since we left the theatre singing “Hear Romans now and tremble!”.