Wanna Buy a Couch?

Dear "Tom",

Thank you for your interest in purchasing the couch and loveseat I recently posted on craigslist. However, our recent interaction has left me with some questions. I'm hoping you will be able to clarify these things for me.

Well, actually, I have one big multi-part question for you. What was the purpose of asking me for exact measurements of the couch and loveseat, exchanging multiple emails with me for details of color and condition, then setting an appointment with me to pick up the couches if you had no intention of showing up? Alternatively, if we assume arguendo that you intended to show up, the question I wish to have you answer changes: why didn't you have the common decency to call or email and let me know you'd changed your mind?

It's not that I refused another sale because you said you were coming to pick up the couches-- I'm acting in self-interest here. What really pisses me off about this is that you wasted my time. It was a gorgeous Sunday afternoon, we have a friend visiting us, and we sat around waiting for you because you were too inconsiderate to take 20 seconds out of your day to let me know that you wouldn't be showing up. If the situation had been reversed, if you had made an appointment with me and showed up here and knocked on my door, only to find that no one was here, would you not have been terribly angry with me? Perhaps you believe that your time is more vaulable than mine. I assure you that is not the case.

In conclusion, you are a jerk. I hope you get stood up on your next 10 dates.

Sincerely yours,

Katze

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Dear "Angel S."

Thank you for your interest in purchasing the couch and loveseat I recently posted on craigslist. The asking price is $150, as I noted in my posting. I am willing to entertain a lower offer, but the key here is that YOU make the next offer. Sending me an email with the question "How cheap can I get it?" is not upholding your end of this transaction. I've already made my offer to you: a couch and a loveseat for $150. Make me a counteroffer and I will let you know if I can accept it.

Sincerely,

Katze

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Dear "Brad Farr":

Thank you for your interest in purchasing the couch and loveseat I recently posted on craigslist. Your recent correspondence has been reviewed and we have prepared the following response to your inquiries:

Yeah. Right.

Seriously, did you think that I was really going to send you my banking information over email so that you could "prepare the check transfer"? Furthermore, even if you had not lead off with such an obvious gambit, ordering me to "[t]ake immediately down [my] posting as [you] are now the purchaser" is a non-starter. The sale is complete when the cash is in my hands and not one moment before.

In conclusion, you are a jerk. I hope you are robbed repeatedly until such time as you lose 10 times more than you have scammed out of any victims dumb enough to fall for your nonsense.

Sincerely,

Katze