Must Be Love Week 'Round Here

What are your middle names?

My middle name is one of the three most common middle names for girls of my age group-- but my parents chose it because it was my grandmother's given name. Ash's middle name is a fairly common boy's name, and one that I've always liked. Sadly, he refuses to consider this name for a possible son we might have in the future.

How long have you been together?

Three years and counting.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?

We were introduced a little more than a month before our first date, but we sort of knew each other by sight for some time before that, just by seeing each other around the law school. Ash is very tall and wore a very distinctive coat, so I'd noticed him at some point the previous year. He says I have a very distinctive butt, which he'd noticed before we met.

Who asked whom out?

I asked him out, and he said no.* I asked him out again later the same day, he said yes, and after that, there was never really any asking, because we never wanted to leave each other after that.

How old are each of you?

I am 32 for another four days, and Ash is 31. Yes, I am robbing the cradle-- by seventeen months.

Whose siblings do you see the most?

I think we see both sets of siblings about equally infrequently, because none of them live anywhere near us.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?

Probably our careers. We're both in that phase where you're sort of struggling to get things off the ground and find work that feels meaningful, work that makes law school seem like it was worth something other than just meeting each other. We're both frustrated and sometimes it's hard not to take that out on each other or feed of the other's frustration.

Did you go to the same school?

Not until law school. We grew up in different states, and we both did our undergrad degrees in our home states.

Are you from the same home town?

No.

Who is smarter?

Depends on who you ask and what day it is, but to be honest, I think we're about equal, intellectually. Ash is smarter sometimes, and I'm smarter sometimes. But I'll tell you that he works much harder than I do at school-type stuff.

Who is the most sensitive?

Me, definitely. Things do not roll off of me, whereas Ash has a gift for overlooking the bad things about people and situations-- or maybe it would be more accurate to say that he has a gift for seeing the positive. I also have more of a temper.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?


It's kind of hard to say, because we aren't eating out as often as we used to. We also don't really have a set favorite place over in this part of town the way we did in our own neighborhood (Chinese Family Restaurant, hands down). We've stopped going to Pub Quiz regularly, so it's not the Faux Irish Pub anymore. We order pizza from the same place whenever we order pizza, but that's not really a frequent occurrence anymore.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Probably D.C.-- not very far at all. We have done very little traveling in the past couple of years, and none of it by plane.

Who has the craziest exes?

Ash, hands down. I'm pretty sure that Jere will back me up on that one. 
Ash wishes to add the following: "I'm like crack for crazy girls."

Who has the worst temper?
Oh, me for sure. Not that Ash is immune to the occasional outburst, but I am far more prone to the fire and brimstone anger, and I also hold a grudge longer.

Who does the cooking?
Me. Not that Ash can't, or won't, or anything like that. But I like to cook, and I'm good at it, so I generally just do it.

Who is the neat-freak?

Neither one of us, and that's both a damn good thing and a damn shame. It's good because we don't often fight about this, and it's a shame because if one of us was a neat-freak, this place might be a little cleaner. The funny thing is that we've each got things that we're very neat about, and those things don't really align, so we drive each other nuts sometimes.

Who is more stubborn?

God Almighty, it's like a stubborn contest around here. Seriously, we are both extremely stubborn and we both get very angry if we have to give in. Makes for some really ludicrous arguments, I'll tell you. Luckily, we're both very aware that we're stubborn, so we try to work on it-- not always successfully, but...

Who hogs the bed?

Ash says it's me, but I think he's just a big baby. He also says I hog the covers, but I have to fight to keep my legs covered when we get into bed at night. Actually, I am a very violent sleeper, so I probably do hog the bed, if for no reason other than the need to create a wide perimeter around my flailing limbs.

Who wakes up earlier?

Neither one of us. We'll both try and make the other one be the first out of bed. However, as it happens, so far our work schedules have usually settled the argument, since one or the other of us has had an earlier start time. Right now, it's me. For a while, it was Ash.

Where was your first date?


We went to a Halloween party at Ash's roommate's best friend's house.

Who is more jealous?

I don't think either of us is particularly jealous.

How long did it take to get serious?


Hardly any time at all, and it was the most natural thing in the world. Neither one of us started out thinking it would be anything serious-- some one cute to pass the time with, if you will. And somehow we went from fun to crush to love to deciding to get married in a matter of months, all without ever really having any discernable "stages". It just sort of... happened.

Who eats more?


Ash. He often finishes my meals when we eat out, and I've had to learn that if I want leftovers for lunch the next day, I have to tell him that before dinner starts. It's also been a struggle for me to keep my own portion sizes from mirroring his, but I think I'm getting a little better at it. My waistline will thank me.

Who does the laundry?

It's sort of a joint operation right now. Ash hauls the stuff up and down the stairs, I separate the laundry and load/ unload the washer/ dryer, and one of us (usually me, I think) folds the stuff. One dirty little secret I have is that it drives me crazy that he doesn't fold the towels the same way I do, but I refuse to ask him to fold them the same way because it was always so infuriating when my mother would insist that I re-fold an entire load of towels because they weren't folded "the right way". So I just live with the towels.

Who’s better with the computer?


We're both about the same level of competent, in that we can each use a computer, but neither of us can really fix anything, or do anything beyond the basics. Ash also objects to this answer on factual grounds-- he says that he is clearly far better than I with computers because he knows how to program in three languages.

Who drives when you are together?

Me, unless I specifically ask Ash to drive, or if we're driving long distance-- Ash usually takes more than half the drive to our family when we visit. We both hate to drive, and he uses the excuse that my car gets much better gas mileage**, and he's not comfortable driving my car. We also each think that the other is the worse driver.

* I never get tired of telling people this. I think it's hysterical.

** Which it does, by a fairly significant margin, but still!

My Valentine

Saturday was Valentine's Day, and I didn't get roses or chocolates or diamond earrings. What I did get was a husband who took me to the urgent care center while I hacked and wheezed. Not once did he whine or complain about the long wait, the fact that I didn't give in to his early morning suggestion that I see a doctor until lunchtime, or the fact that the pharmacist took a long time to get my drugs together. Personally, I'm not sure I could have been as patient about the lack of food for so long had I been in his shoes. I would have meant to be patient, but I probably would have whined anyway. Then he brought me home and waited on me hand and foot while I laid on the couch, sleeping and reading Steven King*. He brought me glass after glass of water, and even went to the store to buy orange juice and salt and vinegar potato chips.** And not once did he act like I was being a pain-in-the-Ay-double-Ess.***

Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetie. You're what it's all about.


*I don't know what it is about being sick that makes me want to read his books, but I worked my way through The Shining, The Stand, and The Dead Zone.

**Another thing that I can't get enough of when I'm sick.

***Which I probably was, even if I didn't mean to be.

Fun With Cats

Jenna has always been sort of a... prickly cat. She will snuggle up and get a nice bit of a pet from someone, purring like an engine, then suddenly she'll hiss or nip (non-contact only-- she's way too much of a wimp to actually attack) and run away for no apparent reason. But she's not a cat that plays very much, in large part because she's getting old, but also, I think, because she considers it beneath her. You can get her pretty wound up with one of those feather toys that has mylar strips in the middle of it sometimes, but even that isn't foolproof. Sometimes she just sits there and lets you shake it, poke her with it, and generally make a fool out of yourself while she acts like you don't even exist.

So it's always a cause for celebration when we discover something that really gets her going... even if it's making her mad. We've recently invented a new game called "The Thing Under the Covers" that makes me laugh hard enough to cry.

Like many of the good things in life, "The Thing Under the Covers" was discovered quite by accident. Ash and I were laying in bed one night, reading. Our big poofy down comforter was pulled up nice and high to keep us toasty warm, and Jenna had wedged herself inbetween our legs at the bottom of the bed. One of us-- me, I think-- moved a foot around lazily under the covers, and Jenna started to do this weird little moaning growl. The more the foot moved, the more upset she got, until she finally attacked, biting and yowling. When that didn't kill the Thing Under the Covers, she got angrier and angrier, until she had to run out of the room while Ash and I laughed ourselves sick. The thing that makes it so funny is that she doesn't get this worked up about anything, ever. Not even the Stripey Catnip Sock.

What do people who don't have cats do for entertainment?