More From the "Not Really Newsworthy" File

OK, here we are again with the insanity from the AP. Check out the bolded part (emphasis mine):

Another Florida man accused of sandwich assault

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (AP) -- Police said a Port St. Lucie man was arrested for throwing a sandwich at his girlfriend, the second food attack that sent a man to jail in about a month. According to a police report released Monday, the 20-year-old man threw the sandwich at his girlfriend's face during an argument about auto insurance and then hit her head with his fist.

The man admitted to throwing the food but not hitting her. He was arrested Friday and faces a battery charge.

Last month, another man was arrested on a battery charge for hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off and nearly causing a traffic crash.

Police reports did not what type of sandwich was used in either attack.

Does it really make a difference whether it was a Reuben or a Turkey Club? White, Wheat or Rye? Is it a misdemeanor if the sandwich is on a soft bun, but a felony if it's on a hard roll?

Small Miracles

Remember, Oh Faithful Reader, how painful getting registered in Our Fair State was back in February? Turns out that the difficulty of renewing that registration was inversely proportional to the pain of getting it to begin with. Renew online? Sure! Pay by credit card? Sure! Get everything completed and returned to you more than two months before my current registration expires? Absolutely!

A rare moment of ease and competency in dealing with a government agency-- I must savor this to the utmost.