I Have A New Goal In Life

So, instead of doing my homework like a good little law student, I watched a special about Niagara Falls on Travel Channel. There's something a little... odd about seeing a place with which you are very familiar on TV. The first couple episodes of The Amazing Race did this to me, especially the Berlin one. I've been to Niagara Falls more times than you can shake a stick at. In fact, I've been there so many times that we occasionally go just to shop or eat at a restaurant without ever going to the Falls themselves.

There were the usual segments about the Maid of the Mist boat tour (an absolute Must when you visit Niagara Falls), people going over the Falls in a barrel, and Niagara Falls as the honeymoon capital of the world. But I learned something new and very cool:

At night, the Falls are lit by colored lights (I knew this). The lights are not computerized (as I assumed they are). They are operated by a sort of keyboard. AND (and this is the really cool part), if you know the right people, you can get the chance to operate the lights! You pick the colors, you pick the order they go in, you press one button and POOF! the Bridal Veil Falls are blue! Press another and they turn purple and pink! Can you imagine how utterly fantastically awesome that would be?

The keyboard has a large warning sign above it that says:"WARNING! Do Not Look Directly Into Lights or Make Hand Signals!" The first part is good advice. Each individual light has the same light power (That's the technical term, you know) as the sun-- 65,000 whatever units. You would probably cause serious damage to your sight if you looked directly into the light. But the second part cracks me up. I immediately got this mental image of the MacKenzie Brothers making bunnies and doggies on the American Falls. "Take off, you hoser! That doesn't look like a dog, eh? This looks like a dog." "No way, that looks more like a... like a cruller. Yeah, a cruller that someone sat on!"