Geh Wohin Dein Herz Dich Trägt

After I opened the eighty-second email sending me a link to Canada’s Immigration website, I finally decided to take the self-assessment test. I do, in fact, qualify for a skilled-worker visa with a score of 73.

Not that I’m really planning to immigrate. Yet. I am very, very upset about the results of the election and frightened for the future. I do not trust the Bush administration to keep me or my family safe. I do not trust him to keep enough jobs here to allow me to pay my debt, own a home, and save for retirement. I don’t think it’s unrealistic to think that one day things could deteriorate to the point of needing to leave the country. But we’re not there yet.

If I were to immigrate now, it would be a lifestyle choice, not a rejection of America or a flight from some horrible danger. Toronto has always been a city that I’ve thought would be nice to move to—the fact that it lies in Canada is just part and parcel of that. Munich is another city I’d love to make my home. And I could probably weasel my way into a visa somehow. I’ve never been to New Zealand, but based on what I’ve read and heard from others who’ve travelled there, I think it could be a good place to go, too. And let’s not even talk about Iceland. You all know how I feel about that.

If we’re changing the scenario to immigration out of necessity of one kind or another, the pool of eligible countries expands. Australia, Ireland, Scotland, England and that old stand-by, Canada jump to mind. However, in such a situation, I would imagine that there would be a tidal wave of people trying to get into other English-speaking countries, so my chances of getting a visa might be better elsewhere. Austria and Switzerland are on my list. I’ve been to all of those places and might be willing to live there anyway, so why not in a pinch? I might even be willing to give Sweden another chance. I’d have to think about Finland, but I did have a fairly favorable impression after my short sojourn there this summer, and if millions of Finns can learn Finnish, I sure as heck can, as well. And if I brushed off my rusty-dusty Spanish, I could add Spain, Ecuador. and Uruguay to my list. I know that’s a pretty random sampling, but it’s not based on any personal experience, so... how could it be anything more than random?

But what to do with my monolingual sweetheart?

He’s been swearing that he wants to learn German for years, but has, to date, learned nothing more than “Tschüß”, “Danke”, “Bitte”, “Katze”, and the numbers 1-3 (except that he always mixes “zwei” and “drei” up). His German grandma also taught him the strange insult “Slabberhans”. I’ve offered to give him basic lessons many, many times. I offered to loan him the “Elementary German” and “German for Beginners” books that I used to tutor from. To no avail—he still talks about it all the time, but always has a reason why now is not a good time to learn.

I don’t know why he doesn’t want to learn just for the purpose of making snide comments without being understood. I know I would, if I were in his shoes. In fact, I plan to learn more and more obscure languages for that very purpose.