Feeling Lonely

Most of the time, the separation from Finbar doesn't weigh too heavily on me. We had it much worse when I was finishing university and he was eight hours away, finishing the work on his second degree. Between my school, his school, my job, his job, and the unpredictability of the weather, we were lucky to see each other one weekend every three months or so. As things are now, we usually manage to see each other every two weeks, give or take. And I'm immensely greatful for that. But for whatever reason, the separation is unbearable lately.

I am so tired of seeing other people-- like the Soulless Evil Goblin and her pasty sidekick, Zombie Girl-- who can fritter away their relationships without separation and without a second thought, while I am struggling through without the presence of my biggest support.

I want to come home to a nice hug and kiss, especially after a particularly long day. I want to go to sleep with the familiar sound of Finbar's breathing and the reassuring warmth of his body (In fact, the day after he comes to visit, I usually have trouble falling asleep.). I want to hear his voice in the kitchen, not on the other end of the telephone. I want to go on one of our hot grocery shopping dates together.

Is this so much to ask?

I keep telling myself that it's only one more year and then there won't be any more long term separations for us. One more year and the hard stuff will be behind us.